Chapter 15: A Confession of a Secret Love (2)

Within happy is sad or within sad is happy

It was in this way that Julie and I established our presence in Fang Yuke’s off campus residence. Because my foundation was very weak, according to Fang Yuke’s words, I didn’t even have any foundation at all, I had no choice but to stay up all night to read my heavenly books. When Fang Yuke just began, he even scolded me with a few sentences of “Idiot”. Later, he felt that the simple repetition of scolding me with Idiot did not change my idiotic conduct at all. A majority of the time, as he would answer me with increasing depression, he would look up towards heaven and adjust his mood before he proceeded to find additional fault in my methods and straighten me out.

Julie, this girl, even while studying could still find time to scheme. How could she pretend not to understand the things that she actually did? After that, she would pretend to ask Fang Yuke while hanging her chin down every once in awhile and biting the head of her pen as she threw herself at him with big eyes, making a cute face. As for me, I had pretended that I understood parts that I didn’t understand to avoid inconveniencing Fang Yuke. But even if I scratched my hair into a bird’s nest, I still had big pieces that I was unable to make sense of.

Fang Yuke was obviously the kind to pay more attention to a lover than friends. When Julie asked him, he would use kind words and give her the first step to the last step. When he got to me, he would speak maliciously and arrange a few pivotal procedures to let me ponder over. His reason was very simple: “Your brain will get rusty if it doesn’t think. Thus, doing less of reaping where one has not sown is still the best.” I pathetically whimpered for half a day, but when I finished answering the question, He said to me again: “Your head is still like a ditch. After doing more, won’t it be forced out?”

In this way, I passed a few days, bored. Julie finally couldn’t endure it, and went home to bathe and sleep as she prepared for her second day’s examination papers to come again. As for me, I rushed up to Fang Yuke’s bed to sleep. These two days, the time I had for sleeping had been greatly cut by half as compared to my former sleeping times. Every time I was unbearably sleepy, I would rush up to Fang Yuke’s bedroom and sleep without waking. After waking up, I wouldn’t wash my face nor brush my teeth and immediately started studying. Fang Yuke had gotten a little mental illness because of me, and he didn’t dare continue sleeping on the bed, afraid that I would lie down on his body without even knowing. Whenever he got sleepy, he would huddle up on the sofa in the living room to sleep.

The me who was sleeping did not know that a catastrophe was approaching.

I was awoken by an ear-piercing screech. I hazily opened my eyes, and saw Ru Ting covering her mouth with her hand, motionless as she stared at me. I stubbornly closed my eyes, hoping this was a nightmare. But I heard a familiar masculine sound: “Ru Ting, there are definitely some misunderstandings in here……”

This time, it was almost my turn to scream. I suddenly got up, that’s right, it was Xiao Xi who stood at the side, staring blankly.

I was in a frenetic state, but I still wiped the saliva at the corners of my mouth out of habit. Now, I must be calm. Originally, the affair didn’t matter, why on earth would you panic?

I laughed towards Ru Ting: “Ru Ting I am here to be a student. Your guy is really great. No computer problems are too hard for him……”

Ru Ting didn’t speak and looked at me with red eyes. She even looked at the bed under my butt.

I could only continue: “You also know, I am always sleeping during computer class. Now I’ve crammed too hard in one go, but this class is too boring. I haven’t looked at a lot of content before I get sleepy, thus I borrowed the bed to use. You don’t need to misunderstand. Even if I want anything to happen, your Fang Yuke won’t allow it. His eyes only have you. Hehe……” Right now, I didn’t even want any face. In front of Xiao Xi, damaging myself wasn’t that big of a problem anyways. It was only that in my heart I began to hate myself. I had objections towards Ru Ting while I secretly helped Julie occupy the top seat. But every time, the moment I saw Ru Ting, I would involuntarily become like a slave, almost as if I had done something that let her down. In the end, I was still not a person, inside and out.

I got up to go to the bathroom to wash my face. My head had many numbers that wouldn’t stop jumping out at me from the binary system and the decimal conversions, infiltrating the melodramatic plot that had just occurred. I had a headache because of Ru Ting’s screech, Xiao Xi’s face and me being at a complete loss. God probably regretted giving me the meat pie that he had smashed onto my body a while ago as he turned around to take back everything he had given me.

I returned to the living room and saw that Ru Ting was still foolishly staring at that single bed. I didn’t know what was so worthy about this bed that made her stare at it with such rapt attention for so long. I even began to imagine that maybe it was something that possessed Fang Yuke and Ru Ting’s unique secret, but this pure and holy bed had been damaged by my lying down, as all of its beauty was damaged. Fang Yuke had mysophobia, while Ru Ting’s heart was full of mysophobia.

Thus, I began to ramble on and explain. In the end, I helplessly and despairingly said, “If there is a need, after I finish testing, I’ll go buy another single bed for you guys. But before testing, I indeed do not have time.”

Only then did Ru Ting react: “There’s no need. After a while I will go IKEA. I feel like it’s dirty.”

I became indignant, feeling as if I had been resolutely slapped on the face with the palm of her hand, but I still controlled myself as I said, “Ru Ting, you don’t need to be so unkind. I pledge that if anything happens, the sky will rumble with thunder and split me in two, and I will not die peacefully. I am only tired from studying, and I lay on the bed for a while.” I cried for help, while watching Xiao Xi. Xiao Xi looked at me. He patted Ru Ting’s shoulder and said, “Ru Ting, you’re thinking too much. Lin Lin isn’t someone like that. Didn’t you go too far?”

After hearing this, my tears began to fall, almost as if even it didn’t matter that I had received an unjust treatment.After all, how Xiao Xi saw the case was more important was more important to me.

Ru Ting squatted down, hiding her head in her bosom, muttering softly as she weeped: “He has never let me sleep on his bed. He said he had mysophobia and I believed him. I waited for so many years but I can’t compare with another person whom he’s only known for a month. When I first saw them, I just knew that there were some things that I had no power to stop…..”

I fainted. Damn it! After all, she had vented for so long because of Fang Yuke’s mysophoia. I thought she had misunderstood some physical body relationships that occurred between us but I didn’t think that she would suddenly go all philosophical, going so far that she was stuck in her own delusions .

I wiped at my tears, pulling at Ru Ting with one hand, pointing at Xiao Xi with the other: “Ru Ting, don’t make everything into a hideous mess. I am not sure if Fang Yuke likes you, but this is a matter between you guys. But what I can ascertain is: I like him.”

After I said these words, aside from me, every who was on scene froze up, including the person holding orange juice and snacks at the door, Fang Yuke.

When they all began to awake, I had frozen. I had only then become aware that no matter how I tried to wrap my head about it, I had still sold myself out.

The scene became impossibly awkward. We sat down at the living room table. The living room table was covered with exam papers marked with red x’s that were too miserable to look it..

I cleared my throat and said to Ru Ting: “See, I came to study right? The blue marks on these books were all written by me. The red colors of replying officially to a subordinate are all from your Fang Yuke. My words are a bit ugly, so don’t ridicule me.”

Fang Yuke’s face sank and became very unsightly. I understood this rascal’s feelings. In any case, he was a man and could not stand this girl who was overly suspicious. I also realised that Ru Ting possessive nature was a bit too strong. It was as if a simple broken bed determined her life and death. I sympathetically looked at Fang Yuke and then looked at Xiao Xi, whom was hanging his head down.

Xiao Xi was the true victim of this entire event. He unexpectedly had to watch this slapstick scene and even more unexpectedly got confessed to by someone. I also guessed that Xiao Xi indeed had some thoughts, but he was a peacemaker at heart. His fake acting was indeed a gift from heaven that could indeed make people confess any truth to him.

Fang Yuke coldly asked Ru Ting: “when did you duplicate the key?”

Ru Ting stiffed her neck and didn’t say a thing, her eyes were quickly filling up with tears.

The atmosphere became icy.

I thought that since things had gotten this awkward, I had better say something to lighten up the atmosphere. So I looked at Xiao Xi and said affectionately: Xiao Xi, the things I said just now were real. It was not just to fool Ru Ting. I really do like you.”

Xiao Xi looked at me, looked at Fang Yuke and looked at me again, then even more unbelievably looked at Fang Yuke.

I could only more forcefully say: “I’ve liked you for a very long time. I’ve fallen in love with you. It’s a pity that in this drama, the conclusion is probably that our feelings are not mutual.”

Upon saying this, Ru Ting looked at me and then looked at Xiao Xi.

Xiao Xi looked slightly melancholic: “ is this really necessary? I treat you only as a sister.”

This time, Ru Ting cut in: “ I think Lin Lin has a point. If you love someone, you have to chase them. So what if you’ve already got a girlfriend? Anyway, hasn’t your girlfriend already been asking for a break up?”

I really respected how Ru Ting was so strong headed, expecting even the grass to move for her, and I was especially moved by her last sentence. I excitedly grabbed on Ru Ting’s arm: “ she wants to break up? Why?” I completely ignored the Xiao Xi’s hurt expression. In my point of view, this was like a floating piece of wood that would save my life. I had to grab onto it tightly.

Ru Ting timidly said, “ actually, I don’t know whether or not sister Yi Lian can even be counted as Xiao Xi’s girlfriend. Everyone knows she only has eyes for the vice president. It was only because of some incident that caused her to go looking for Xiao Xi.”

So this shameless behaviour that enjoyed Xiao Xi’s help could be traced back to this woman called Yi Lian!

Xiao Xi smiled bitterly: “ Ru Ting, you rascal, how could you say such hurtful words? You wouldn’t die by speaking one less sentence. I understand how much pretending to be with someone that you don’t love will hurt the other person. In the end, aren’t I the one who’s hurting? Lin Lin, I do not wish for you to face this kind of hurt while you are with me. You should give up.”

I was a little bit angry. You had an open opportunity to try being together with Yi Lian, but are too stingy to even grant this kind of opportunity to me? I shouted: “ No way. If you need to have a shadow then I will be the sun. One day, when the shadow is gone, we will be mutually in love.”

Fang Yuke, who hadn’t spoken a word, walked into the kitchen and brought out a few cans of beer. He smiled and said, “Okay, that's enough, do people normally act like you do? Confessing, rejecting, and declaring your stalker-like intentions even while we’re around? Do you think we’re air? Let’s drink some beer, after you’re done you should go home. And, Lin Lin, pack up your books then go home and take a look at them. It should be no problem for you to pass now. Even if you ponder about them by yourself, you should be able to score well. If you really can’t, then just ask Xiao Xi directly.

Fang Yuke’s face was a bit pale. His smile was also slightly bitter. I do not know whether or not the reason for his bitter smile was because he had to give up his tutoring rights. Did this cause sadness in his happiness or happiness in his sadness?