Fleeting Midsummer

Living up to Summer Vacation (1)

Maybe the pursuit of studies in a university was limited to only the last few weeks of school. Only in the last few weeks of school would you be able to see all the university students with a rigorous and scholarly attitude as they delved into their vigor and spirit.

On the day we finished testing, I laid as stiff as a corpse until I finished bathing at the public baths. Then, I returned to my dorm, unable to endure my physical strength, as I slept for a day and a night.

As I slept soundly, I received a phone call from Senior Brother Yu, the president of our Hometown Association, who made us quickly sign up to participate in this year’s travel activities during summer vacation. To me, Senior Brother Yu’s existence was like that of a god. He showed us how to have poor family circumstances, how to work energetically for the prosperity of the country, how to keep persevering... In brief, before he went to Peking University, he had experienced all the most tragic things. For a short time, he had to stop going to school, but in the end, he still tenaciously crammed and self-studied, getting into Peking University in the end. At that time, he was the idol and model of our whole little town, and the president of our school gave even more sincere advice and magnified his portrait and engraved it onto the “pillar of humiliation” that was located on a summit that everyone had to raise their heads at a 45 degree to admire.

Right now, this rich Senior Brother Yu had actually personally called me, one of the nameless younger generation, who was completely inferior to him. No matter what kinds of activities I had to participate in, I would agree. After I finished the call, I even lamented that I unexpectedly had such a life to go and participate in activities along with other people from the same village. Indeed…...wait a second, Hometown Association? Wouldn’t Fang Yuke be at my left while Xie Duan Xi was at my right? My energy suddenly dropped~ could I withdraw from this association again?

Let alone, I had equal feelings towards activities and theorizing. In other words, I believed that reading a book was boring, so exercising was also hogwash. “If you felt the paper was extremely shallow, then this was definitely something you had to personally undertake” [1]. As far as I was concerned, this phrase didn’t apply. Because I didn’t pursue deep things. I pursued doing things half-heatedly which included feelings…...in brief, I was a skin-deep person.

The summer vacation hiking people list had already been dispatched to the post office box. I saw Fang Yuke, Xiao Xi, and even Ru Ting’s name who had participated- not really being a fellow villager. In the male, Senior Brother Yu sent out, the letter was as follows:

Fellow junior sisters and brothers:

For lodging birds and to remembering trees, and the stories of the fish in the ponds and these other profound happenings in the midst of nature and our country. This time, in our travels, we will be visiting our village to explore the growth in each of the economic industries of our village, and we will also give some related advice for these departments, and settle some practical matters. As someone who cherishes the whole of China, from Peking University, the first place we have to thank, and the first place we want to give back to is our hometown. I hope everyone is energetically preparing to actively participate. This time, for our travels, I have invited my junior schoolmate, the editor of the school magazine, the famous Wen Tao from the news department to also participate and to also grasp knives and support us, and to extend the tourism industry growth of our hometown. Hehe…….

This was really a new and fresh practice, putting me in an awkward position, and putting mutual people in an assembly together. It was really the daringness of the president of our hometown assembly. But as for big phrases like, “For lodging birds and to remembering trees trees, and the stories of the fish in the ponds and these other profound happenings.”  “cherish the whole of China” “give back” they were wasted on someone small like me.

No matter how much I didn’t want to participate objectively or subjectively, I was someone who could adjust and recover faster than a dog. On the day of our travels, I went with bags beneath my eyes, without any makeup to conceal it.

In the past, I had pretended to be a wise and virtuous woman made of jasper, but now I didn’t have any point of pretending. I thanked Wen Tao for being my male companion at Ru Ting’s birthday party, helping me shed all my burdens. The so-called ‘a dead pig doesn’t fear scalding water’, was this precise concept. As for going in front of Fang Yuke, I had never had any image in front of him anyways. So, this time, I would go into battle with nothing on me, as I resumed my position as the little hegemon of the whole army, and the unequaled King Kong beautiful maiden, as I aggressively stood in front of everyone.

This was the first time that I would attend a hometown assembly activity, and seeing the 20ish grandiose people, I only recognized a few. Senior Brother Yu introduced everyone on the car. When he was about to introduce me, he suddenly stopped, and didn’t remember my name. So he could only awkwardly say to me: “Junior sis, this is the first time you’ve reported, so you better introduce yourself.”

Under these kinds of circumstances, I was even more embarrassed than he was. When someone gets to a community, and sees everyone merging, joyous and harmonious, while I was cut off from others and dried in the air at the other side, so much so that the organizer didn’t remember my name, it would create a negative mood. In a more serious case, it would make someone abandon themselves to despair.

What’s more, I originally felt very impulsive towards this activity. Immediately I wished I would drag my luggage and go buy a train ticket to go home. Wen Tao laughed as he came over, and put a hand on my shoulder: “I’ll grandly introduce everyone. This is my girlfriend. This time coming, a small half was for Senior Bro Yu’s reputation, but the greater half was because she wanted to. Everyone please support me. The most important part is to support us. After things end, I will freely give up all the QQ numbers of all the beautiful girls in my department as well as their phone numbers.”

Everyone clapped their hands. I pushed aside Wen Tao’s hand: “Why can't you get over it? Last time, didn’t we speak through everything?”

“You have your rights, and I have mine. Let’s not interfere with each other. Plus, do you really want to lose face in front of the person you like?” Wen Tao gently spoke.

I was somewhat grateful to Wen Tao, knowing that he had saved me out of the goodness of his heart, but I indeed also didn’t care about displaying myself well in front of Xiao Xi. Julie said, that the person who was refused was always the one with the wishful thinking and delusions. But why couldn’t they change and let the other person have a whole new level of respect for them? I once was like that, but now, I suddenly didn’t have this interest. I didn’t know if I had matured, or if it was because of something else.

On the long train ride, everyone expressed team spirit, as they played poker one after another, and cheated other people of tokens. In the middle of the night, they still hadn’t stopped as they got so noisy that none of the other passengers could sleep. On the other hand, I was a little excited to see how these people would cherish the whole of China and give back to their hometown. I hadn’t seen my dear friend stamp his feet due to making a mistake when putting out his cards. If the window of the train could open, and if it allowed people to leap out, I would have jumped and committed suicide.

Ever since Ru Ting had known about the drunken matter, her attitude towards me had taken a devastating decline. When she saw me, it was like she had seen a demon personifying pest. I really wanted to tell her that if she wanted to take revenge, I wouldn’t mind if she came to kiss me. At the moment, she was peeling an apple for Fang Yuke. Fang Yuke looked out the window without saying a word. Xiao Xi sat across from them, resting his eyes. Wen Tao sat next to me as he directed the people playing cards across from us. As for me, I pretended to be a holy female, as I clasped the book “National Geography” and read it. Just like Yuke from the past who had read “National Geography” while twirling his pen. At the time I had even made fun of him by saying that he was pretending to be an elephant while sticking a piece of Chinese onion [in his nose]. But now, I didn’t read “Salon” and I had begun to read intellectual magazines. When people know each other longer, they will slowly influence each other, and then understand each other more and more, and resemble each other more and more. For example, I knew Fang Yuke was looking outside the window, not because he was downhearted, but because Wen Tao was sitting next to me. If he didn’t look outside the window, he would see Wen Tao being brash and noisy, and he did not want to see him like that.

Later I woke up after sleeping again, feeling someone covering me with some clothes. I felt two people fighting quietly. Someone said, “I like Lin Lin, no I love her. I will tell her. Before then, you better conduct yourself with dignity.” I wanted to open my eyes but the sleeping god was more magical than the gossip god. I fell deeply asleep again.

In the morning when I woke up, I thought of the words from last night. I didn’t know if they were real or fake. I suddenly hoped that they were true, because I vaguely remembered that this voice was Fang Yuke’s voice. It was different from the tone that Wen Tao had used when he confessed his love. I unexpectedly felt happy, as if a gap in myself was about to be filled, and a few dreams were going to be made perfect.

It was a pity that this was only hope. I was unlikely to be so foolish as to ask about the result. One time of foolishly declaring my love was enough.

So I could only lament. I knew I liked Fang Yuke but even I didn't know when my feelings had begun to rise. Was it when he taught me swimming? Was it when he sent me medicine? Was it when he helped me study for the tests? Was it when he accompanied me to watch the fireworks? It seemed, we had been together for too long, so long that I had forgotten to ask myself we would spend so much time together.

But now, I was too afraid to ask…...

[1] "If you felt the paper was extremely shallow, then this was definitely something you had to personally undertake”. Consider this from an author's standpoint. It means that if you feel there's no potential for the piece of paper, then you should definitely personally write out everything because you can't leave anything half-way especially if the piece of paper is one part of a whole novel.