Chapter 672: Stop Dictating My Life
From Thug to Idol: Transmigrating to a Survival Show
"It really is you," Mei said, her mind in shambles after the huge revelation.
Meanwhile, June pursed his lips, also in disbelief at the turn of events.
"So, you were the one who stole and gave away the briefcase. That's why I couldn't find it before I went to meet with Laohu," he muttered the last statement, making Mei unable to hear it.
"What do you mean by stole? I didn't steal anything," Mei defended herself.
"What do you even know?" June asked. "You don't remember anything, right?"
Mei scoffed. "Why are you suddenly so hostile? I thought you were the one who wanted to know the truth? I don't get why you're blaming me for something I'm not even fully aware of."
"I didn't steal anything. I may not know my past self, but I know well enough that I won't do anything rash without a valid reason. If I did steal the briefcase, then it would be for the good."
"For the good of what? You just placed yourself in danger. If you have left it in the place that I left it, then I would have it by now. However, you have to give it to a stranger, and now I don't know where to find it," June said, voicing out the frustrations he had been he had been bottling up for quite some time.
Mei's frown deepened. Then, she shook her head in disbelief.
"Wait a minute—why are you talking as if you know something about me and my life? I've never met you before, and even if I did, I'm sure that we didn't have that kind of deep connection."
June sighed in frustration. "Fuck, I don't know what to do anymore."
"You don't know what to do anymore?" Mei exclaimed in frustration. "If there's someone who doesn't know what to do between the two of us, then that's me!"
"You're being so cryptic, and I feel like I'm being left in the dark."
"You keep acting like we're close when we're not."
"And last but not least, I have the feeling that you don't want me to debut at all."
June was about to interrupt her, but Mei didn't let him.
"I really thought you would be different considering the treatment you got from Mentor Gun during the past season, but you're doing the same thing."
"You're not saying it explicitly, but I can feel from your actions that you don't want me to be here!"
June sighed. "It's not like that. I'm just trying to protect you."
"Protect me from what?"
"From everything," June said. "Just—just trust me. You don't want this. You've never wanted this."
Mei nearly shouted, but she held herself back.
"What do you know what I want?"
"I came to this foreign country to pursue my dreams even if my parents disapprove of it. Nobody seems to believe that I am suitable for this dream, but I do. I believe in myself."
"Isn't that the most important thing?"
"It's not that simple," June said. "There are plenty of things in life that aren't one- or even two- dimensional. You can't just want something, and expect to get it."
"Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't. But this particular dream will only put you in danger," June said.
"Trust me," he whispered.
Mei was silent for a moment, her eyes cast to the ground before she gazed up at June with stern eyes.
"I don't want to," Mei said, causing June to sigh in frustration.
"Why can't you just listen?" June asked.
"Why can't YOU listen?" Mei threw back the question to June. "Honestly, I don't even know why I have to explain myself to you, but I'm doing this because I want to be an idol."
"I don't care if it's dangerous. Anything in life is dangerous if you think about it," she said with a resolute voice.
"And why the hell do you keep on insisting your own wants on me?" Mei asked. "Like I said—we're not related. You're not my brother. I don't need you to protect me."
June closed his eyes and cast his head to the ground.
Somehow, he knew that Mei's words made sense. Why was he so concerned about her life when it was HER life—especially now that they weren't siblings anymore?
However, June had this nagging feeling inside his mind—
why can't I protect her even in this life?
He failed to protect her as Jun Hao.
And now, he felt like he was failing to protect her as Joon-ho.
He subjected himself to being part of a gang, which undoubtedly made Mei's life more dangerous. Even though he tried his best not to let her get involved, it was still inevitable in the end.
Now, he was an idol—arguably much safer than being part of the gang. However, it was still harsh beyond words, and June wanted to protect Mei from the impending trouble that she was going to experience.
Even now, she was already the punching bag of the show. What more if she actually got to debut?
Moreover, Azure wasn't the best company in terms of caring for their idols.
"If you're not going to say anything else, then I'm going," Mei said.
"I appreciate you coming after me in the rain, but I hope our relationship ends here. I don't want you convincing me that I shouldn't pursue my dreams. I also don't want you talking about this briefcase, because frankly, I don't have a clue anymore," she continued, about to walk away.
June sighed in frustration before speaking.
"Just answer this question then," June said, causing Mei to stop.
"Just this question," June repeated, not bothering to look at her.
"Why did you REALLY become an idol?" he asked.
Mei pursed her lips. "I already answered the question."
"You're not telling the entire truth," June said, already aware of her tone.
Then, she looked away and played with her cold fingers.
"I was telling the truth," she muttered. "I woke up, and suddenly, I felt like I had to go to Korea and find something—anything that would fill the void in my heart."
"However, I didn't know what that was, so I decided to explore my passions."
"Then, that's when I came across K-Pop and fell in love with it. I knew right away that it wasn't just the simple emotion of enjoying content and music. It was much more than that—I wanted to become a part of it."
"So, I worked hard for an entire year so I could go here," she smiled, remembering her struggles of working part-time and convincing her parents to let her do what she wanted.
"As expected, almost everyone was against what I was pursuing," Mei continued.
"Why are you even doing all of this?"
"Life's already comfortable, so why won't you stay?"
She chuckled and shook her head as she answered the questions she uttered.
"No matter how comfortable I am, I just know that I won't be fully happy."
"There would always be a 'what if' inside of my mind—what if I pursued my real dreams instead?"
"I didn't want to have any regrets, so I came here as soon as I was scouted by Azure."
"However, even now, I can't really answer your question," she smiled.
"Simply because—there is no answer."
"So now, I'm deflecting the question to you," Mei said, turning around so she could look June in the eyes.
"Why did you really become an idol?" she asked.
June didn't answer the question since he didn't know how to respond.
Then, Mei smirked.
"The answer in your heart—I bet it's similar to mine."