Grace Time

To my dear readers,

I received an email from a reader yesterday. Usually, I find out the situation/issue through a series of conversation and I would summarized everything into a few sentences. But this reader actually wrote me an entire email. Hence, I am going to post the whole thing without editing so you guys will know her exact situation.

Dear Grace,

Dear Lonely Girl,

I can feel your sadness, resentment, and regret from the email. I’m sorry to see that you’re going through so much pain. Sadly, the boy you liked probably had no intentions of dating you from the very beginning. He enjoyed chatting with you and spending time with you, but only seemed to have friendship in mind.

Most likely, his reaction was so extreme because he knew he couldn’t give you what you desired. Since he already had his intentions set on someone else, he didn’t want to give you any false hope that something may potentially happen between the two of you. So, to him, cutting you out was the best solution. However, the fact that he messaged you after the earthquake goes to show he still cares a bit about you.

Emotions can cause us to think irrationally. You may be filled with resentment because you don’t understand why he wouldn’t give you two a chance. Perhaps, you may be wondering, what’s wrong with me? Why don’t you like me? How come it’s one sided? Why did you pick her instead of me? And etc.

Sometimes, we can’t help who we fall for. I’m sure you are not attracted to every boy you meet either. I won’t tell you to simply move on because I know it’s easier said than done. In my opinion, you were very reactive but you have already come to accept that he doesn’t like you and you won’t have a future with him. At the same time, you’re reluctant to let go and still hopes that a miracle could occur. Right now, you’re too focused on this boy and you can’t see or consider anyone else.

I think you need to take a step back and try to view the situation from another angle. He isn’t the only tree in the forest. I know you want to hug onto this tree and never let go, but you can’t be with someone who doesn’t want you. You can’t force him to love you.

You’re probably never going to forget this boy, and I’m sure he wouldn’t forget you either. But holding onto any hope will only lead you to more disappointment and sadness. Sigh. This reminds me of a quote from Supernatural Girlfriend. He was someone I didn’t want to remember, but couldn’t forget. T_T

To get over your sadness, I would suggest trying some new activities or experiences that you’ve never tried before. After all, a great life is one with lots of pleasant memories. You have to make the effort to try to create those memories. Perhaps, do something outside your comfort zone every week. I really hope you can meet new people and be happy again.

Being in love with a person whom you can’t have sucks. It sucks a lot. I know you must feel awful right now. But with time, the pain will subside if you are willing to let go.  

In a way, you were courageous enough to admit your feelings to him. Although you were rejected, at least you tried. You can’t say you regret not giving it a shot. It’s a pity it wasn’t mutual.

There will be another person. Try to stay positive!! Don’t give up on love. You must believe you are a worthy person first. Do more things that make you happy, ok?

I hope this helped you a little. I can’t really tell you how to let go and get over him because it is an action only you can take.

Readers, what are your thoughts? Do you have any suggestions for Lonely Girl? Please share what has helped you moved on from previous heartbreaks!

P.S. I’m glad you weren’t injured by the earthquake! Stay safe. <3

P.P.S. I dedicate this song to you.