Kill the Sun

The people in the room were left in complete shock.

None of them had expected Nick to forgive Irwin.

This seemed very unlike him.

And they would be right.

In the past, whenever anyone had gone against Nick in any way, Nick retaliated.

But this time, he didn't.

Why?

Well, there were several reasons.

Before Nick had come here, he hadn't been completely sure what to do.

He was more on the side of letting Irwin go, but he hadn't been completely sure.

To be sure, he had to talk to Irwin and look at him.

He wanted to see how Irwin would act.

The fact that Irwin refused to look at Nick spoke of deep shame.

But what kind of shame?

Was it the shame of having done something horrible, or was it the shame of being confronted with one of your biggest mistakes?

Did Irwin resent Nick?

Nick could tell that Irwin resented him a little bit.

He regretted not succeeding.

Nick could tell as much.

However, Nick knew a lot about people now.

If someone was with their backs against a wall without being able to fight back in any way, one would believe that this person would show their true self.

And in a way, that was correct, but not completely.

Irwin had not tried to paint himself in a positive light at all.

In fact, he was even a bit dishonest when it came to his portrayal of himself.

He was overly harsh and presented himself as uncaring.

Was he truly uncaring?

Most likely not.

Carl and Mark had been very close friends with him, and Irwin had been so insanely close to Mark that he had lost control of himself.

This showed that he could feel very deeply for others.

A cruel and cold person wouldn't have attacked Nick in this scenario.

A cold and cruel person would realize that attacking Nick would be absolutely stupid.

Yet, the pain Irwin felt from having his friend die riled him up so much that he lost control and did something horrible.

And when he had said that it didn't matter what others thought, did he truly mean that?

In his opinion, yes.

But he was wrong.

Very often, in highly emotional situations, humans were atrocious at evaluating what they truly felt and wanted.

So, what was the real reason why he portrayed himself so horribly?

He wanted to be punished.

He didn't think that he deserved forgiveness.

Of course, Irwin didn't actually consciously know that.

He just thought that he truly was a cold bastard and acted as such.

Naturally, Irwin wasn't some kind of saint or altruistic person.

He was just like everyone else.

Of course, Nick couldn't be completely sure about all of this.

Whenever it came to evaluating people, there was a big degree of uncertainty.

If you get one thing wrong, the entire result may be the exact opposite.

It was possible that Irwin truly was some kind of deeply scheming and cold person.

This uncertainty was why Nick hadn't been sure.

In fact, he was still unsure now.

But he was fine with that uncertainty.

Something that was uncertain now might become certain with time.

And when that time arrived, it was still possible to take action.

Nick returned to Dark Dream and told Julian about everything that had happened.

When Julian heard how Nick had dealt with Irwin, he chuckled.

"I'm surprised," Julian said with a sinister chuckle. "I didn't think that you could make such a rational decision in such a situation."

"If everything works out right…"

Nick didn't say anything.

He knew that his decision had a chance of benefiting Dark Dream, but that wasn't the reason for making it.

"As for these red people, I think we can get some good money out of that," Julian said with a toothy smile.

"Nobody knows the reason why the zone to the north is forbidden, and I think that knowledge is worth quite a bit."

Nick also didn't give an answer to that.

Eventually, Nick left Julian's office and went back to work.

Over the next couple of days, a couple of things happened.

First of all, Irwin was fired.

Naturally, Solace wouldn't keep someone like Irwin employed.

Next, Carl and everyone else in Solace broke contact with Irwin.

Carl just couldn't forget how Irwin had smiled when he had shot at Nick.

That was not the person he had thought Irwin would be.

The reason why everyone else broke contact was due to Solace's order.

They didn't state the reason since it would be considered keeping a crime secret if that information reached the city.

Irwin had lost all of his friends and contacts in one day.

And he didn't care.

It didn't matter.

For days, he just kept walking around aimlessly.

Sometimes, he looked at the red curtain.

Sometimes, he looked at the megastructure.

Sometimes, he just looked at the ground.

He was not sure what he was feeling, but for the first time, he wished that he could sleep.

Sleep had always felt like a huge waste of time to him, but now, it felt like it was the best use of time.

Irwin just didn't want to be in this situation anymore.

Everything was shit.

And most of all, he felt like shit.

For several days, he didn't care about anything.

But then, things got worse and worse.

His mental state deteriorated more and more.

He didn't need to eat, drink, or sleep.

Because of that, he technically didn't even need to spend or earn any money.

He could just exist perpetually without doing anything.

And that was the most horrible part.

There was nothing.

He had no goal.

He didn't need to do anything.

He just existed.

Feeling like shit.

He was lost.

He didn't even try to get a job.

He didn't want to do anything.

Eventually, he reached his lowest point.

He came very close to saying the Sentence.

But he couldn't do it.

He just couldn't throw his life away.

He had been put before a choice.

Die.

Keep living.

He had chosen to keep living.

And the first thing he did after making that decision was as unexpected as it was expected.

He went to Dark Dream and asked to see Nick.