Love Code At the End of The World

“Raffles, you are right. I did not lose my memory. I didn’t know how to say it and I didn’t dare to say it initially.” The memories and the pain of separating from my family made my breathing short.

I looked down as tears started rolling down my cheeks. “I don’t know why I am here, what I did wrong that made me fall into this world of darkness.” I pretended to be tough in order to not let reality defeat me. I pretended to be tough so as to not let reality crush me. 

But, I am only a human. I am just a girl. It is tiring to pretend for so long. 

There are also times when I feel lost and confused. 

Why me? 

Why am I here? 

Why, why, why?

“To bring us light,” came the soft reply, and a warm hug pulled me back from the painful memory playing in my head. 

I took a deep breath and smelled the orchid scent on him. It felt just like when I’d been in Harry’s arms the last time. For just this one moment, let me lean on him to get myself back to my feet. I’d kept this secret with me for way too long.  

I really miss, really miss home. 

But, I can’t go back. I can never go back. 

I didn’t know how long I’d cried in Raffles’s arms. Even when I’d stopped crying, I didn’t want to leave his warm embrace. I continued to lean on him, putting aside the tough image that I had been pretending with all this while. 

How can I be considered as strong when I choose not to face the past? 

But I can finally face it today. I am finally able to face it. 

I could feel that when I’d faced my past after confiding my secret, I’d become even stronger. I’d become truly strong. 

He held me tightly in his embrace. The way he hugged me made me feel secure. It felt like he was soothing my insecurities and loneliness from all this time, making me feel the warmth and relief that only a family member could give me.

The night breeze was no longer cold. The surrounding air was filled with Raffles’ body temperature and fragrance. I felt the comfort and tranquility of home again. 

I finally calmed down. I was finally able to face the world again. I could finally face Raffles openly. 

I wiped my face and left Raffles’ arms. I had hidden long enough; I would become weak if I let myself hide for too long. I asked, “Do you want to see evidence?” 

“Evidence?!” He seemed to be shocked.  

I looked up and asked, “Why? Do you not believe in what I said? Do you think it is all just my imagination?” 

“No, no, no.” Raffles waved his hands. He looked at me with sympathy, tears in his grayish-blue eyes. That pair of teary eyes looked exceptionally bright under the moonlight. 

I was a little surprised, but also touched by his teary eyes from the bottom of my heart. I said, “You are crying.” I reached out and gently wiped his tears off his face. 

He held my hands softly. His warm hands could dispel the coldness of night. He lowered his face and said sadly, “I am very sorry. I’ve never thought that you’ve gone through such experiences. I have never expected that you came here from another world alone. You came from such a beautiful, magical world to our world that has nothing at all."

I looked down as well. After confiding my secret, I was no longer afraid to look back into the past, no longer afraid to think of the faces of my parents, and everything in the past. I’d used to bury these memories deep down in my heart and hadn’t had the courage to touch it. I’d been worried that I would open a Pandora box once I touched that part of my memory. I’d been worried that the pain within would turn into darkness and swallow me completely.  

He stood in front of me and gently took my hands into his, holding them tightly as he said, “Lil Bing, I will always be by your side in the future. I will never let you be alone anymore.” 

The words he murmured softly hit my heart and made me tear up. I took my hands back to wipe my tears. “Thank you, Raffles.”  

“Don’t cry, Lil Bing,” he choked with sobs. He then extended his hands to wipe my tears. “I won’t let you cry in the future anymore.” 

I nodded thankfully and happily. I was crying tears of joy now. 

“Oh, right, the evidence that you were talking about, were you talking about this?” He extended his hand and pointed at the sandalwood beads on his wrist. His voice was trembling but he sounded like he was trying to make me feel better. “No wonder you had so much good stuff on you. You had watermelons and apples. When you took out an apple back then, all of us were thrilled with excitement!” 

“Pfft.” I wiped my tears and smiled. “I will show you the evidence, a much more persuasive piece of evidence.” 

His eyes quivered as he looked at me. Pulling his hand, I ran under the clear moonlight. As we ran towards Noah City, I felt that my body had become lighter. It was so light that I could almost fly like Little Bing and the other birds.

I pulled Raffles along as I ran back to my room.

I stopped at the corridor and looked at Harry’s room. It was really quiet and we hadn’t seen him and Arsenal on our way back. Are they back in their rooms? 

“What’s wrong?” Raffles came before me and blocked my line of sight. 

I looked at him and said, “I also want to tell Harry. You and him are both my best friends.” 

Raffles startled a little. He looked down and said, “Yes, you should tell him too.” He sounded a little disappointed.

What is wrong with him and Harry today? They both looked a little disappointed. 

Raffles turned and looked in the direction where Harry’s room was. “Harry is going out for a mission tomorrow. He might be sleeping already.” 

“I will tell him next time then.” I hesitated. 

I had never told Harry before and it would catch him by surprise if I were to tell him all of a sudden. I didn’t even know where to start the story. Would I scare him?

Unlike with Raffles, it had been very natural when I’d told him about my secret. Most of the time, there had to be some sort of chance and story development to foreshadow a secret being revealed.

I will find another chance to tell Harry. I will always be around them anyway. There’ll always be another chance. 

“Sure.” Raffles smiled like a blossoming orchid. The earlier sadness vanished into thin air. 

I pulled him into my room. 

He sat on my bed and looked around my room. He had not come into my room for a long time. 

I took my bag out of my cabinet. My evidence wasn’t chocolates, apples, or anything of that sort. The things that I took out could be considered as antiques. Just like the bead bracelet on Raffles’ wrist, they weren’t that convincing.   

I brought the bag and sat next to him. His body stiffened and he seemed tense. However, he was less nervous than before. 

Peeking at me, he slowly relaxed his body. 

I took out my purse from my bag. It was a yellow purse with a cat in an ancient costume printed on it. 

“This is…” Raffles’ attention was caught by my purse. 

I let go of my bag and opened up my purse in front of him. There was a family portrait in it. We were standing in front of Guilin’s mountains and waters, saying ‘cheese’ happily. 

“It’s beautiful.” Raffles took my purse from my hand. He was fascinated by the beautiful scenery of Guilin in the picture.