Netherworld Investigator

I stared at his bald head and said, "Oh, the nine burn marks left on your head must have hurt when you first got them."

The abbot rubbed his head, laughing joyously. "These burn marks symbolize our determination to renounce our ties to the secular world and take refuge in our beliefs. The pain is only temporary."

"With all due respect,” I started. “I’m just a layman but I seem to remember that this has been abolished in our country since the 80’s. Why do you still practise it here?"

The abbot appeared awkward and faltered for lack of a good explanation. Zhu Xiaohao stood up and defended him, "Song Yang, haven’t you said enough? You're purposely making things difficult for the abbot. Just you wait! You’re going to be punished by the Buddha for being so cynical!"

"What’s wrong with asking a few questions?” I retorted. “Enough about being punished by the Buddha. You’re clearly bullshitting! I've read quite a few books on Buddhism and from what I’ve learnt, Buddha means ‘enlightened person’ in Sanskrit, which differs from gods of other religions. Besides, the Buddha has already achieved supreme enlightenment. Do you think he’s going to descend from the heavens to punish for such a small matter? How busy would the old man be?!"

Zhu Xiaohao was so furious his face had turned red with anger. He pointed at me and condemned, "Get the fuck out of here! Having someone like you in a temple is like committing blasphemy!"

"Fine then!” I scoffed. “Who wants to stay here and be a freaking vegetarian? I'm leaving and finding a stall that sells dog meat so I can eat all the dog meat I want and drink beer!"

I gestured for Dali and Bingxin to leave but the abbot suddenly interrupted us with more Buddhist mantras. "Do not let anger get to you. I am aware that this young benefactor is merely curious and has no intention of profaning the Buddha. Fret not, the Buddha is merciful and will not punish you over such a trivial matter."

Zhu Xiaohao glared at me angrily, not expecting the abbot to have spoken for me.

A smirk rose to my lips as I triumphantly took my seat again. Right then, the abbot got up and said, "Please wait for a moment. I’m going to check on your meal."

Zhu Xiaohao stood up fiercely and flicked a white-hot side-eye at me. "Let me help you, abbot!" 

As soon as they left the room, Bingxin leaned in and curiously asked, "Song Yang-gege, was that all an act?"

"How could you tell?" I was puzzled.

She burst out in laughter, breathless as she explained, "Your tone sounds different from the usual. Besides, your acting skills have never been up to par. A glance is all I need to know..."

I couldn’t fight a twinge of shame. "As long as the old baldy believes it."

"What do you mean?” Dali asked in wide-eyed surprise. “Dude, why were you pretending?”

I told him I would explain later. Right now, I had to take advantage of the opportunity to examine the place while there were no outsiders around. I stood up and scanned the room. My keen sense of smell immediately picked up the odor of animal fat and alcohol. In one of the corners of the room, I discovered several cigarette butts, and when I uncovered the prayer mat Scarface had sat on, I was shocked to find a worn out magazine filled with pictures of beautiful women.

Just as I had speculated, these monks were all imposters and the abbot was merely a convincing actor.

"Listen up,” I turned to Dali and Bingxin, “These baldies are probably wanted criminals hiding from the police. From this moment on, none of us should leave each other's sight. We mustn't startle or alert them. If the situation turns violent, we’ll definitely be on the losing end. Their invitation for lunch suggests their intention to make us stay for the night. At the moment, I can’t be certain what horrible plans might await us once night falls. We’ll have to feign ignorance and find a chance to escape before dark."

"Wanted criminals!” exclaimed Dali. “Are you sure? This isn’t something to joke about!"

"I’m ninety percent sure!” I stated. “Would an ordinary person choose to impersonate a monk from a poor temple in the mountains? We can’t get any signal on our cell phones so it’s impossible to contact the authorities. Don’t you think a place like this is the best hideout for a bunch of fugitives?"

My argument with Zhu Xiaohao was meant to convince the abbot of my foolishness. I seeked to present myself as a shallow dunce who thought himself clever. Such a persona had its own uses such as casually dropping questions without being doubted.

“If they think we haven’t seen through their act, then why won't they let us go?" asked Bingxin.

"Are you a fool? Of course it’s for sex!” chided Dali. “How long do you think it’s been since they’ve seen a woman?"

Bingxin covered her mouth so her sobs wouldn’t spill out, silent tears sliding down her cheeks as the fear washed over her. I shot Dali an accusatory look. The danger of being raped existed, but in terms of priority, sex could only ranked second. Looking at the situation from the fugitive’s point of view, their primary focus was to not get caught. If four young students broke into their hideout by mistake, killing them would be the safest option.

"The three of us can look out for each other,” said Dali. “But what about Zhu Xiaohao?"

This was precisely my concern. Not only was Zhu Xiaohao an encumbrance, he was also a religious idiot who would choose not to believe me even if I shed light on our situation. Additionally, the relationship between us was strained to say the least. With him around, taking action would be inconvenient.

However, as annoying as he was, Zhu Xiaohao was an innocent citizen with a family who cared about him. My principles and conscience inhibited me from leaving him to his own devices. 

Upon further reflection, I concluded that our current situation was extremely unfavorable. Infighting amongst ourselves would only increase the risks and danger. "We don’t get along with Zhu Xiaohao, but in fact, it’s something we can use to our advantage," I said.

"You mean use Zhu Xiaohao as bait?” asked Dali. “You know how much I hate him so my answer is yes!"

"Shut up!” I rolled my eyes at Dali. “I’ve not yet decided on anything. Let's take it one step at a time."

Bingxin anxiously clutched her chest. "Will they poison our food?" she asked.

"You’re the toxicology expert,” I chuckled. “You should know that there isn’t a poison in the world that’s completely colorless and tasteless. Even cyanide, known as the king of poisons, contains a distinct bitter taste of almonds. If they were to poison our food, we would discover it at once, though I highly doubt the possibility of that."

And the reason for that was clear to me as a man. These bastards had been holed up in here without a woman for a long time. A beautiful girl like Bingxin would definitely have tempted this bunch of abstinent “monks” so their first instinct would be to leave her alive. Of course, I didn't vocalize my thoughts for fear of frightening Bingxin.

A moment later, a scream sounded from outside, interrupting me from my thoughts. I froze for a second before dashing towards the source of the noise.

The scream came from one of the meditation rooms. On our way there, we bumped into Two-Face who was still holding his sharp axe. Upon noticing us, he coldly barked, "Get out of here now!"

"What have you done to Zhu Xiaohao?" demanded Dali.

"I said, get the hell out of here! Didn't you hear me?” Two-Face exploded with anger. “You better do as I say while I’m still being nice!”

Right then, the abbot exited the meditation room and said, "Amitabha. My apologies! Jingkong, let them in!"

When we entered the meditation room, we were greeted by a pathetic Zhu Xiaohao rolling on the ground hugging his leg. Beside him, a stool had fallen over.

As it turned out, the abbot had requested Zhu Xiaohao’s help in fetching one of the sutra books on the top shelf. Zhu Xiaohao was standing on the stool when he suddenly fell to the ground–an obvious scheme the abbot had concocted, and one I never expected these baldies to come up with.

Bingxin went over to check Zhu Xiaohao's injury. "The bone isn’t broken but it is fractured. We’ll need to look for something to fix it in place..."

Zhu Xiaohao wailed like a dying pig. "A fracture? Will I lose my leg?"

"Oh come on, stop exaggerating! You’re a young man and the fracture isn’t serious,” I said. “As long as you take care of it, it’ll heal soon enough."

Although I made it sound that way, the truth was a fracture would take several months of rest. As the saying goes, a broken bone or a torn muscle takes a hundred days to recover. We found some branches which Bingxin used to create a makeshift frame for an emergency external fixation. While Bingxin treated Zhu Xiaohao, he looked at her with a grateful and affectionate look that almost bordered on nauseating. "Miss Sun, you’re so kind to me!"

"Fuck off!” cursed Dali. “Don't flatter yourself! Bingxin-meimei is a medical student. Trust me, she doesn’t have the tiniest bit of interest in you!"

“That’s none of your business!" yelled Zhu Xiaohao.

The two exchanged a few heated words before ignoring each other completely. The abbot stood at the door to the meditation room, his lips curled in a sinister smile. "Benefactor Zhu is injured. I think it’s better if you all stay the night and wait till the rain ceases tomorrow to leave."

Fucking baldy! How dare you set us up!