Unruly Phoenix Xiaoyao

Chapter 166: If the Grand Preceptor can wreck it, then I can fix it Original and most updated translations are from volare. If read elsewhere, this chapter has been stolen. Please stop supporting theft.

The Lord Protector called out to his younger brother, “Why aren’t you kneeling and paying respects to His Majesty yet?”

“No need,” Ning Xiaoyao said. “Come in and talk.”

Pei Yan strode into the main hall. Ning Xiaoyao examined the second young master of the Pei Clan, who had exceptionally pale skin and fine, exquisite features. He didn’t look very manly. Pei Yan glanced at Ning Xiaoyao, then at Lou Zigui, before he laughed coldly.

“I have heard that Your Majesty is fighting with the Grand Preceptor?”

“Yeah, ah,” Ning Xiaoyao replied easily.

“The Grand Preceptor holds all military power in his hands, so Your Majesty probably can’t do anything against him, right?” Pei Yan added.

Slap. Ning Xiaoyao felt like she’d just been slapped soundly on the face.

“Your Majesty went down on your knees to make an apology today,” Pei Yan added, “Because you have no men at your disposal, and want to use our Pei Clan, right?”

Slap, slap!

Ning Xiaoyao felt another invisible smack on her face.

“Let this commoner have a guess,” Pei Yan went on. “Tao Chen, the Nine Gates Infantry Commander, is dead. But Xie Wenyuan still controls the forces under his command. Your Majesty needed one of Xie Wenyuan’s enemies to take the post, so you were planning to aim for my elder brother? Otherwise, would Your Majesty even remember the existence of our Lord Protector’s estate?”

Slapslapslap---!!

Ning Xiaoyao could almost feel her face swelling up.

“Be quiet!” the old matriarch shouted at her youngest son.

Pei Yan lowered his head, but a sardonic smile was still playing about his lips.

“Your Majesty,” the old matriarch attempted to explain. “That boy is this old woman’s second son. He’s surnamed Pei, named Yan, and he’s always been immature. This old woman has doted on him too much and spoiled him rotten. If he has caused you any disrespect, I asked that Your Majesty mete punishment.”

“Mother,” Second Young Master Pei Yan lifted his head.

“Still not shutting up?” the Lord Protector stepped in this time.

“It looks like the second young master is both self-assured and fearless,” Lou Zigui remarked. “His Majesty is in dire want of loyal, capable men under his command. But isn’t that the case with the Lord Protector’s estate as well?”

At Lou Zigui’s words, Pei Yan’s smile vanished, and he turned gloomy instead. Lou Zigui never wanted to make enemies of the Lord Protector’s estate, but he couldn’t help his temper after seeing Pei Yan’s deliberately enigmatic attitude towards Ning Xiaoyao. Does he really think His Majesty came to beg for their help?

“You’re not bad,” Ning Xiaoyao stuck up her thumb at Pei Yan. “You deserve a ‘like’ for face slapping someone as soon as you felt unsatisfied. I’ll respect you as a real man. Come, have a seat,” Ning Xiaoyao pointed at an empty chair in the hall. “Let’s talk.”

“......” said Lou Zigui.

“......” said the Pei Clan.

Did His Majesty misunderstand Pei Yan’s words, or are we the ones with hearing problems today?

Ning Xiaoyao said, “Everyone should find a seat. Let’s chat while sitting down.”

Pei Yan only waited until the old matriarch sat down before he found his own chair---but not the one that Ning Xiaoyao had pointed at. Originally, Ning Xiaoyao was sitting in the main seat of honor in the hall, but after seeing Pei Yan sit somewhere else, she ran to sit next to him instead. Pei Yan neither moved nor otherwise acknowledge her existence.

Ning Xiaoyao said, “You used the right tactic. ‘If the enemy won’t budge, then I won’t budge either.’ I’ll give you another ‘like.’”

Pei Yan was beginning to wonder whether His Majesty had mental problems. Just what is he talking about?

“Do you know how to fight?” Ning Xiaoyao asked next.

When Lou Zigui heard Ning Xiaoyao’s question, he had a sudden inkling of what she was thinking. “Your Majesty,” he said as he hurried to her side. Forget about whether Pei Yan can fight or not, how is someone with an imperfect body supposed to be the next Nine Gates Infantry Commander?

“Supreme Commander,” Ning Xiaoyao replied. “The Lord Protector looks like an upright and honest type from first glance. If he faces off against the likes of Grand Preceptor Xie, I’m afraid he’ll only come to grief.”

Pei Yan laughed at Ning Xiaoyao’s words. “Then what kind of person is suited to be Xie Wenyuan’s opponent?”

“Malicious, venomous types,” Ning Xiaoyao said decisively. “I’d say you could do it.”

So I’m a malicious, venomous person? Pei Yan was finally left speechless by Ning Xiaoyao’s words.

“Do you know how to fight?” Ning Xiaoyao asked again, full of hope.

“I’ve practiced martial arts since childhood,” Pei Yan replied.

Ning Xiaoyao nodded. She’d read a few novels herself, and all the eunuchs in them had cultivated techniques from the Sunflower Manual. It was a superb brand of kung fu, so it was possible that Pei Yan was even some high-level expert. (Author: Are you sure the Sunflower Manual even exists in this world?)

Pei Yan asked, “Your Majesty is brave enough to use me?”

Ning Xiaoyao replied, “Then are you brave enough to accept the post of Nine Gates Infantry Commander?”

“If Your Majesty dares to use me, then this commoner naturally dares to accept, but…”

“Fine, then you’ll be the Nine Gates Infantry Commander,” Ning Xiaoyao clapped the table.

Pei Yan was left completely floored. Even the Pei Clan members were dumbfounded. What just happened?

Lou Zigui only felt a headache coming on. “You,” he said to Ning Xiaoyao, before stopping to try again. “Your Majesty, this is a serious matter. You can’t joke around.”

The Dragon Guards were all staring at Ning Xiaoyao as well. Wasn’t the Lord Protector supposed to be the new commander? Why the sudden switch?

Ning Xiaoyao pointed at her mouth and said to Lou Zigui, “It’s not a joke. This is my golden mouth and pearly words---utterances that carry great weight.”

Damn you and your golden mouth with pearly words! Supreme Commander Lou was about to blow his top.

“Does Your Majesty not know that I’ve been crippled?” Pei Yan had no choice but to bring up his injury now. Ning Xiaoyao’s eyes trailed downwards, and Lou Zigui immediately pressed a hand against her shoulder.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said. He had seen how Ning Xiaoyao treated injuries, and it usually involved her touching the wound. Yet, where was Pei Yan’s injury? Just thinking about it made Supreme Commander Lou want to explode!

Ning Xiaoyao had no choice but to move her gaze upwards. She could only gauge how much healing energy she needed after physically examining the wound. But now that she wasn’t allowed to touch the patient, well---Ning Xiaoyao paused and shook her hands to circulate her internal qi---then she’d just have to use all her energy, that’s all.

“What are you planning?” Pei Yan’s expression grew guarded when he saw Ning Xiaoyao’s face turn stern.

Ning Xiaoyao placed a hand on Pei Yan’s shoulder.

“Don’t move,” Lou Zigui told Pei Yan. The Lord Protector grew restless and wanted to get up, but the old matriarch shook her head at him. It was impossible to think that His Majesty would hurt Pei Yan right here on clan grounds.

Ning Xiaoyao’s hand rested lightly on Pei Yan’s shoulder for awhile. Right now, her healing abilities were but a scrap of her skills back in the apocalypse! But it should be enough, I think. After thinking that to herself, she lifted her fingers gently before touching them to his shoulder again.

Sunlight spilling in through the lattice windows mixed with the soft green light coming from Ning Xiaoyao’s fingertips to turn into a brilliant, golden yellow. Lou Zigui caught the scent of fresh grass and forests again. When he finally tracked down the source, Ning Xiaoyao’s hands had already left Pei Yan’s shoulders.

Pei Yan only felt a warm current travel throughout his body, leaving him very comfortable. But his heart felt both flustered and stupefied. What just happened to me?

Ning Xiaoyao quickly stuffed two sugar beans into Pei Yan’s mouth and said, “Eat these, they’re miracle pills that’ll restore your masculinity. I, I uh, these are my master’s personal pills, you can’t find them anywhere else.”

Pei Yan simply crunched on the beans, finding the taste familiar. You think I haven’t tasted sugar beans before?

Lou Zigui gave Pei Yan a doubtful glance before asking Ning Xiaoyao, “His injury’s really curable?”

“Basically,” Ning Xiaoyao said breezily. “If the Grand Preceptor can wreck it, then I can fix it.”

Pei Yan lost his temper. “Your Majesty, are you humiliating this commoner?” After that, he prepared to spit out Ning Xiaoyao’s so-called ‘miracle pills.’ Ning Xiaoyao promptly pinched Pei Yan’s nose and muffled his mouth, forcing him to choke and swallow his ‘medicine.’ When she released the man, he clutched his throat and glared balefully back at her.

Ning Xiaoyao reached out a hand and brushed her fingers against Pei Yan’s angry eyelids. “You’re not dashing at all like this, ya know.”

“You,” Pei Yang wanted to beat her up, but suddenly felt his entire body turn limp. Soon enough, he couldn’t move at all.

“Three days from today,” Ning Xiaoyao told Pei Yan, “On the morning of the court assembly, I’ll be waiting for you at the Hall of Golden Chimes. Be there or be square.”

Pei Yan raged, “You---”

“--fatuous ruler, right?” Ning Xiaoyao said smoothly. “Ol’ Supreme Commander’s already called me that, so you really should pick something else.”

At this, many eyes turned to Lou Zigui, who chose to remain stoically silent.

“You!” Pei Yan still wanted to curse her.

Ning Xiaoyao simply raised her hand and rendered him unconscious with a single slap. “I just realized, why should I let you curse me in the first place?”

“........” said everyone in the room.

The old matriarch grabbed her walking stick and hurried over somewhat shakily to Ning Xiaoyao’s side.

“I can cure his injury, honest,” Ning Xiaoyao said before the old woman could speak up. “Old matriarch, you can have him test it out himself tomorrow. You don’t need me to explain the details, right?”

Both the old matriarch and the Lord Protector, who was only a step behind her, looked at Ning Xiaoyao in utter astonishment.

“Alright,” Ning Xiaoyao relented. “Then I’ll elaborate. He can use his hands, or maybe find a girl to tumble around with in the she---”

Unable to bear any more of this topic from her, Supreme Commander Lou once against muffled His Majesty’s mouth. The old matriarch thought over Ning Xiaoyao’s words repeatedly before her hand trembled. The walking stick clattered from her fingers as she cried in a loud voice, “What Your Majesty means to say is that my son, my son is healed?”

Ning Xiaoyao pried apart Lou Zigui’s hands and took a deep breath. “Yeah, he’s good, ah. Didn’t I just tell you?”

“But, but he was castrated,” the old matriarch couldn’t quite believe it.

“If it was cut off, it can grow back,” Ning Xiaoyao stood ramrod straight as she replied. “If the Grand Preceptor can wreck it, then I can fix it.”

“T-that’s impossible,” the Lord Protector shook his head.

“Whether or not it’s possible, we’ll know after he tries it out tomorrow,” Ning Xiaoyao said. “We’ll meet again three days later at the Hall of Golden Chimes. Be there or be square!”

Pei Yan simply laid there, unconscious. Meanwhile, the rest of the Pei Clan didn’t know what to say.

“Shall we go?” Ning Xiaoyao asked Lou Zigui. She didn’t expect the old matriarch to treat them to a meal, so they could probably leave the estate now that they were done. Lou Zigui bowed towards the old matriarch before taking Ning Xiaoyao out of the estate.

“Your Majesty,” one of the Dragon Guards asked after they left. “Is Second Young Master Pei’s injury really cured now?”

“Mhm,” Ning Xiaoyao affirmed. “I’ve even given him my miracle pills, so why wouldn’t he recover?”

The Dragon Guards all looked at Ning Xiaoyao with mixed looks of respect and veneration. Ning Xiaoyao was very pleased. “How is it? Isn’t Your Majesty dashing enough to pierce through the Heavens?”

All of the Dragon Guards nodded their heads in agreement. Although His Majesty didn’t fit adjectives like ‘dashing’ at all, they still esteemed him all the same.

“We have a candidate for the Nine Gates Infantry Commander now,” Ning Xiaoyao said with great satisfaction to Lou Zigui. “Supreme Commander, we should just sit and watch Pei Yan duke it out with the Grand Preceptor.”

“His injury?” Lou Zigui asked instead.

“If I can’t cure him, may I be cursed to never have babies for the rest of my life,” Ning Xiaoyao solemnly vowed. “Does that make you feel better, Supreme Commander?”

Lou Zigui pulled Ning Xiaoyao along with him before he suddenly stopped walking. Whose babies will she have in the future, if not mine? In that case, Lou Zigui continued that train of thought as he looked at His Majesty Ning, Unless Pei Yan recovers, I’ll have to give up on having children and grandchildren of my own as well?

“It’ll be finnnne~” Ning Xiaoyao smiled at Lou Zigui like a flower in bloom.

Supreme Commander Lou could say nothing beyond remaining silent.