Your Highness

Once Du Hao got involved with the investigation, the story behind the intruder was quickly revealed. It was so ridiculous that  people didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Apparently, in the city, there was a corrupted official named Wu Liang Zhi. Wu Liang Zhi was actually the brother of Rong Fei, one of the Emperor’s most spoiled imperial concubine. Just like his name, this person had no conscience* He often committed outrageous acts like snatching ordinary women and taking bribes. Due to the Emperor’s love towards Rong Fei, none of the city’s large or small officials dared to mess with Wu Liang Zhi. Hence, Wu Liang Zhi became increasingly aggressive and accumulated countless amounts of wealth.

But although Wu Liang Zhi didn’t have a conscience, he had some IQ. Since he was already a government official and he had already gotten his bribes, he wasn’t going to do anything off the radar to create attention on himself. However, the problem here lied with Wu Liang Zhi’s male cousin, Wu Zhi Shang.

Wu Zhi Shang truly had no IQ. Seeing how his cousins have all became rich, he was resentful as he was merely a local wealthy landlord.

Why are we from the same family, but they can have power and wealth but I can’t? That’s it! The only reason why they’re so high up in the social ladder is because of the power and wealth they have accumulated. I’m going to be even better. I am announcing myself as the Emperor!

On that very night, the idiot Wu Zhi Shang asked his bookkeeper to create a version of an Emperor edict. He decided to change the official name of the nation to Wu, and crowned his wife as the Empress, his eight years old son as Crown Prince, his next door landlord neighbour as the Enperor’s brother, and his bookkeeper as his Kingdom Minister. He also had a total of eight soldiers, and pronounced himself as the Emperor.

Three days after this “regime”, it had spread to Wu Liang Zhi’s ears. Wu Liang Zhi was furious.

Wu Zhi Shang’s brain could have problems, but how dare he drag him down with him? He immediately led a group of people and hurried to Wu Zhi Shang’s residence.

On their arrival, they were greeted with a crooked sign that had “Palace” written on it. Wu Liang Zhi’s people beat up the eight soldiers and dismissed the bookkeeper. In addition, Wu Liang Zhi harshly shrieked and warned Wu Zhi Shang. By the end of it, the regime that lasted three days and five hours had been eliminated.

Honestly, the story would have ended. But the problem once again lied with Wu Zhi Shang. That person’s IQ must be negative. After getting yelled at by Wu Liang Zhi, he was so resentful that he decided to conspire with his landlord neighbour and spent twenty silver taels (ten each) to find an assassin to get rid of the real Emperor so that he could continue being “Emperor”.

Unfortunately for Wu Zhi Shang, the twenty silver taels actually randomly attracted an excellent assassin. The assassin took his deposit of ten silver taels and attacked the Palace. He managed to kill the Imperial bodyguard, and would have successfully killed the Emperor if the Emperor was in his dormitory.

Wow, I wondered how the Emperor would react if he knew his life was only worth twenty silver taels.

When Xiao Lu got to this part of the story, Lin Shan spat out all her tea. Holy shit! Brother, you are damn brave. I never knew someone like this would exist! Eight soldiers? Hahahahahaha….

Lin Shan was laughing so hard, she was almost rolling on the ground. Just then, a eunuch made an announcement at the door; causing her to break out in cold sweats.

“Prince Consort, the Emperor wishes to see you!”

——-

Lin Shan was freaking out as she followed the eunuch into the Imperial study room. It had been awhile since she had wed Du Ming Yue, but the Emperor had never purposely summoned her. Why was he summoning her today? He suddenly wanted to keep an eye out on me? Or could it be Du Ming Yue…Lin Shan quivered, and couldn’t help be feel anxious.

When she arrived at the study, the Emperor was already there with her father, Song Xian, the Kingdom Minister. The Emperor was holding a folding document** and seemed to be having a lot of fun conversing with her father. It appeared that his mood wasn’t ruined by the twenty silver taels.

The moment Lin Shan saw her father, she felt much better. She respectfully greeted the Emperor with her head lowered, and carried herself like an obedient  son in-law.

The Emperor was especially glad to see her, and pleasantly granted her a chair to sit. He kindly acted like a father in-law and smiled at Song Xian: “Look at him, this child is too reserved. He is still referring me as Emperor!”

Song Xian felt a bit guilty, and instantly signaled to Lin Shan: “Luo-er***, you ought to refer the Emperor as Father Emperor.”

Lin Shan was sweating, and hastily said, “Father Emperor.”

“Don’t be nervous! I called you in today to discuss about family stuff only. It’s rare that the Kingdom Minister is here. Both of you haven’t seen each other in awhile. In a moment, you two should catch up.”

It turned out it wasn’t anything serious. Lin Shan felt a breath of relief: “Your son would like to thank Father Emperor for his care and concern.”

“Luo-er, you are part of the family. This is not the royal court. There is no need of you to be so formal! By the way, Luo-er, you have been married to Ming Yue for almost a month now, right? Father Emperor rarely asks about you. I’m sorry. Ever since Ming Yue was young, she has always been given her way. I’m afraid you must be having some trouble.”

“Of course not, Father Emperor. Your son and the Princess are getting along very well.” Lin Shan could tell lies without blinking.

“That’s good! My daughter is great in all aspects except for her spoiled nature. I was afraid she would throw tantrums. I’m glad you two are not having any issues. I guess that means we will have grandchildren soon! Song Xian, soon you will have a grandchild!”

The Emperor looked very pleased and happy. Little did he know that Song Xian was drenched in cold sweats from head to toe. Song Xian trembled and nodded: “My son is indebted to the Emperor and the Princess’s generous love…..”

And just like that, within the room were three people -one who was greatly anticipating his children’s future, and two who were suffering from extremely guilty consciences. The conversation went on for almost an hour. By now, Lin Shan had almost fallen asleep. Then, an interesting topic finally came up.

“Luo-er, how do you think we should punish Wu Liang Zhi?” The King’s question brought Lin Shan back from her dazed state. She realized the Emperor was asking for her opinion.

Due to Wu Zhi Shang’s conspiracy, Wu Liang Zhi had also been affected. Not only that, Rong Fei had been thrown into the isolation part of the Palace. Furthermore, her six years old Prince was also taken away from her and given to raise by a different concubine. Everyone who was related to Wu Liang Zhi had been affected. Therefore, although Wu Zhi Shang failed to become the Emperor, he managed to reach his goal: Now, there were no differences amongst him and his cousins -because they were all screwed.

Although sometimes Lin Shan may not think before she acts, she was definitely not a fool. The Emperor had already harshly sent Rong Fei to isolation, there was no way he didn’t want to punish Wu Liang Zhi. Most likely, the Emperor wasn’t just punishing those who are associated with Wu Zhi Shang -he probably wanted to seize the opportunity to get rid of some people once and for all. The Emperor must have intentions if he was asking her.

Lin Shan thought about and said: “Your child mainly stays within the Palace and doesn’t know too much about this situation. Hence, your child does not dare to make any conclusion.”

“It’s okay. I want to hear your thoughts. Be brave. I will not blame you.”

Lin Shan was waiting for that line. Since she wasn’t going to be punished, she didn’t mind sharing her thoughts. She definitely wouldn’t suggest nine familial exterminations.**** However, she felt it was reasonable to search the house and confiscate possessions.

“Your child believes although Wu Liang Zhi was aware of his cousin’s actions, he did not directly participate in the incident; therefore, he should not be sentenced to death. However, before I had entered the Palace, I was aware that Wu Liang Zhi had done many evil deeds. He was corrupted and would use his powers to bully others and abuse the laws. He is honestly too rampant. He must be punished in order for the common people to get rid of their anger. Your child would suggest allowing him to suffer from being pressed down (due to loss of power and wealth).

“Oh?” Lin Shan’s suggestion evoked the Emperor’s interest, “Luo-er, what are your thoughts? Please continue.”

“In my opinion, we should confiscate his household wealth, dismiss his servants, make him live elsewhere, and take away all his land. The wealth we confiscate should be shared between those common people he used to bully. Wu Liang Zhi should become a beggar and get a taste of what it’s like to be poor. He should suffer from the bullying of others and be treated with disdain. That way, the common people’s anger would diminish as well.”

The Emperor was pleasantly surprised by Lin Shan’s words. Even Song Xian, who thought he knew his daughter very well was astonished. When did his daughter become so wise?

Deep down, Lin Shan was rejoicing. She was glad she had watched Stephen Chow’s movie “King of Beggars”. If not, how else would she think of this awesome idea? What they say was correct: If you do not have book smarts, you have to have street smarts. If you don’t have street smarts, then watch more TV.

Lin Shan’s suggestion received the Emperor’s approval. The Emperor immediately issued an Imperial edict and announced to the world that they will confiscate all of Wu Liang Zhi’s possessions to give to the impoverished. Wu Liang Zhi will be deemed as a beggar and he must obey the imperial order.

The moment this was announced, the whole city rejoiced. All the common people who had previously suffered from Wu Liang Zhi’s actions praised the Emperor. They were truly grateful.

On the third day after the imperial edict had been announced, another decree was made:  The Prince Consort was granted the title of a chancellor and was responsible to confiscate the possessions of Wu Liang Zhi alongside with the Crown Prince.

When Lin Shan received the order, she was stunned. After she snapped out of it, she almost screamed: Holy shit! Confiscating possessions! What a cushy job!!

* It’s a pun. Wu Liang Zhi also sounds exactly like no conscience in Mandarin (wu = no, liang zhi = conscience).

** This is the folding document. I know it sounds so weird, but I don’t know how else to translate it. Folding information? lol. Therefore, I found a picture.

*** the “er” indicates it’s a child or someone younger than the person who is speaking. It’s often used by mothers and fathers (actually, anyone older can use er after your name to call you)

**** This is a very confusing term to translate because it doesn’t exist in English. Basically, in the past, if a person were to commit a big crime, his/her family (up to 9 connections) could be sentenced to death. This means, even if the person was the son of their cousin’s cousin’s cousin’s cousin.. (you get the point)..